Who’s Coming to Dinner 2- inkmusings

Who’s Coming to Dinner 2

Writing on Oct 1st, 2004 | one response

Visitors come here for lots of reasons, not all of which make sense, but somehow they find me anyway. Below are some hand-picked search phrases from my server logs. These are real; I don’t think I could make up stuff like this if I tried…

Odd, unusual, or just funny

seagull poop (uh…scientific curiosity or laundry tips?)
pirate thong (don’t *even* want to wonder why…)
but will they serve donuts (Krispy Kreme stockholder?)
look a bit stupider (self-help or behavioral-recognition skills?)
fluoride in lima beans (still not going to eat those damn things…)
old folks fart toys (surely Mattel wouldn’t stoop that low…)
keebler elf gone bad (sadly, does happen…)
santa beats elves (elf union pay whistle-blowers?)
guide to faking it (love to know the gender of *that* Googler…)
bubba with toast (Arkansas home recipe, or ?)
stupid granny (no Christmas present this year!)
bird watching nigerian spam (okay, these are related how?)
monkey better than stock broker (duh…at least recently…)
hedonistic fun (a bit redundant?)
wired to your mother (hey! use your own mother!)

Contemplatives: not just for navels

we’ve survived poverty and pain and loss now let’s see if we can survive this (this? there’s something worse?)
goodbye kerouac lean forward too huge (yup…sounds like Kerouac…)
your comments appear to be blank and thus were not (some people need to get out more…)
what is the feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain in motivation (that you’re really boring, I’d guess…)
to succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid you must be well-mannered in french (so that means the French are…)

Impossibles

one word weight loss (we wish)
gravity harmful or not (considering the alternative, does it really matter?)
world richest person email address and website (yeah, like that’s Googleable…)

Naughties

skiing naked (ack! how painful!)
shaving naked our vacation (some people have all the fun…)

Looking for Mr. GoodLuck

if you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet,
if you want someone who will never touch the remote,
if you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing (hey, we’re guys…what do you expect??)